I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
