I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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