Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
