If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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