Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
