Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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