Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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