omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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