God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
