the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
