I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
