Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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