Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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