would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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