My hand turned me down
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
