Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
