yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
