screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
