therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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