he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
