You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
