So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
