I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
