Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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