I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
