I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
