At least make sure they are 18
Why
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
