May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
