The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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