I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Randomize
