actually, I'm a sock model
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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