i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
