i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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