its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So here I am, sexting at work.
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