I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it hurts more in the daytime
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
