It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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