trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
