I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
