I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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