don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
