i wish there were pregnant emoticons
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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