I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
