Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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