And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
