erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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