it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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