he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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