Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is Oprah even human
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
