my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
