and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
