so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
